To my first love

Why is it that until today, you are still the one who keeps on playing in my mind, the one that I still can't get enough of, the memoir that I barely can't and either don't want to forget. I know that I am still holding back, even if I have the chance to move on and to get over you . Tho the realization keeps on slapping me hard, yet I'm still being blinded by my feelings for you. It's crazy not to think that I can't be with you. It's frustrating to see you with her 'cuz it makes me feel that it should be me. I don't know if I'm still in love with you, or I'm just in love with the feeling of being you.