To the one who fixed me but still chose to break me

I knew that we both came on the wrong foot. I could still remember the first time I held your hand, we were inside the car laughing with our friends blast with good ole music. It flutters my heart upon touching your hand, you were so sweet and clingy back then but I kept everything intact for my heart's already been owned by someone. You tried your best to win me but you failed to steal my heart. I made you cry and I made you feel worthless for falling from someone whom really isn't worth falling for, for falling for a douche who's not worth fighting for. I chose him over you, I chose to break my heart instead of nurturing it. Tho we didn't turned out good, you still chose to stay and fix me. That's when I saw the light, that light that had been long deprived from me.

I tried to be casual and to be platonic but you being so relentless and persistent made me fall for your antics. I fell for you not knowing that you were already fallen out of love for me. I fell because I choose to be happy tho I didn't know that this happiness that I chose was already been taken away from me, that the person that I chose to fall into was already been falling from someone else. I chose to fall because for once I wanted to feel that euphoria, those genuine happiness tho I was wrong all along for I never knew that it was just you being you–being friendly and sweet; it was you being feign about your feelings.

It wasn't like before, pushing you away from me because I want you to be happy but it's a whole lot different now, I need to walk away because I am saving ourselves from a complete destruction. I knew that you'll be alright because you have your best friend by your side, she'll never leave you for I know that she'll be always there for you. You need her more than you need me it hurts but that's okay, I'll be okay. I can handle myself and for now, I'll chose to save my heart and to save myself. I am choosing to have that happiness by not depending it from someone and by finding that satisfaction with my own life. I guess happiness isn't for me. That happiness isn't free after all, that I had to be deserving to have it. Guess I am not that type of person.

I'm anxious and envious of her. She has you and I had nobody. You want her more than you want me and I can see that you can never live without her. Her presence makes you something. I'm jealous of your tight bond and relationship with her. I'm insecure of her. I hate what you have and I loathe what you had with her. I am not like this, I am scared that it'll turn me into a monster that I never wanted to be.

Thanks for coming into my life and for making me feel important in a span of time. I'll be happy, I know that you are too because you have her. I liked you and you'll always have that space in my heart. I'll just watch you from a far. For now, I am walking out from your life, take good care of yourself. I am happy and glad to have met someone like you. Thank you for fixing me, I know that you never intended to hurt me but you already did. Life has taught me that no matter how you love the person if you've constantly been hurt and been ignored then eventually you'll choose to distance and save yourself.