Sober

I patiently wait for him for a long period of time. Until when the time comes and I realized that he wasn't meant for me. I watched him fall in the arms of someone. Someone who can't be me, someone who's dear to me.

I know he's happy but why am I in such agony. I cried out of pain, I suffered out of grief. I'm damned and can't be saved. How I wish it was me; hundreds of unravelling thoughts showered all over me. Insecurities flawed me, jealousy crept over me. My brain was stained with his memories. I was detrimental, suffocating barely breathing.

It was then, I was tho it's a whole lot different now. My sober thoughts wake me up from the nightmare I had, from being drunk in love, from all the hallucinations I got up to the point where I lost myself. I knew it wasn't healthy anymore, my love for him wouldn't lead me anywhere, that's when I get a grip of myself. I should save me, not anyone but me.

It was life what taught me. It's my love for him whom made me grow. It was me all along. I watched him fall to someone and I, on the other hand had gotten myself better.